Rants of Elliryanna Christine Dawson.

(OOC: Please note before you read any of my rants...yes they do contain how I..ME the REAL Elle...feels...no im not a suicidal person...yes, this is my way of letting out crunched up feelings because if i do it in any other way someone will get hurt. No..I do not need anger management..)

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Tuesday, December 2.

Im afraid.
Afraid that ive let everything...and everyone slip by without a glance.
afraid of those who are stonger than me..and capable of great harm
afraid that im not really alive..that i never was..

I feel dead.
And no matter what it is I do, there is no relief from this damned feeling

I try to get by, putting on that fake smile that seems to fool EVERYONE.
But my god...can you be any more blind?

I CRUMBLING...right infront of you..
and you cant even see it.

I can only take so much...
and my meter is nearly full.

Theres just no escape!
No peace at home beacuse there..

there...such monsters and nightmeres reside there.
A child shouldnt hear such things from a parent.
Should not.

and yet...I do.
every single day of this stupid existance.

you think you know me inside out.
you say you know how i feel
what ive been through

and yet..

youve barely grazed the tip of the iceberg i call my life.

i feel that i could burst into tears at any moment.
becase everthing i do is never good enoough

not good enough for anyone.
not you
nor my parents
nor even the people i call my friends.

Someone..please tell me

What have I done to deserve this?

wow.. thats really good
i can't right poems.. or anything close to a poem.. but if i could i would say exactly that.. its weird cuz that exactly how i feel !

Thursday, December 4

Well

apparently no one is allowed to have an opinion anymore.
Nor write down a single f**k thing.

I said Im sorry
But should I be the one apologizing?